Thank you so much everyone for your kind words of encouragement, it means so much to me. Now I hope we can all sit up together and enjoy this Incredible journey called life with each other! xxx
YOU KNOW YOUR KENYAN WHEN….
15th March 2010
These are just a few fun comments from our friends and family here in Kenya, thought the rest of the world would enjoy. When you are done reading let us know about your country’s silly quirks. It is fun!
1 – You know your Kenyan when you are on a game drive and you find yourself staring at the tourist.
2 – You know your Kenyan when you (females) can walk out the front door with no makeup and still know you look good all Natural.
3 – You know your Kenyan when you go out dancing barefoot.
4 – You know you are Kenyan when you can open a beer bottle with your knife you carry on your belt or in your purse.
5 – You can open a Tusker beer bottle on a table.
6 – You can open a Tusker beer bottle with a lighter or another bottle.
7 – You know you’re Kenyan when you sleep through the elephant trumpeting outside your tent.
8 – You know you’re marrying a Kenyan when he’s passed out next to you as a lion breathes on the other side of the tent.
9 – You know you’re in Kenya when you have to swerve around a herd of cattle, cyclist and the pothole that will eat your car and that’s only the five-minute drive to school.
10 – You dislike driving on roads that don’t have potholes ‘they keep me awake’.
11 – Even if you’re 30 minutes late for a meeting, you are still convinced you’re RIGHT. ON. TIME.
12 – You confuse your R’s with L’s even though you aren’t Kikuyu….
13 – You only listen & dance to Rock & Roll!! You think it’s THE best too!!!
14 – When just “now now” is a figure of speech that describes your estimated time of arrival when you potentially mean soon but most probably mean just “now now!” x
15 – “Sawa is you immediate reply!”
16 – “Saying “Ati?” when you are bloody shocked!”
17 – “When you can open bottles with your teeth, cigarette lighter, car door – the list is endless. Same goes for a bottle or wine – all you need is a piece of cotton cloth.”
18 – You know you’re Kenyan when a lorry going 7 miles an hour passes a lorry going 6 miles an hour on the road to Langata, spewing thick, black, diesel and you just watch as if it is the norm. 
19 – You know your are Kenyan when your 4×4 is older then you and you love it.
20 – You know you’re a Kenyan if you pay your political representative a first world salary but he/she delivers a third world service. He he he he he!
21 – When you can’t think of a word in English so use the Swahili word instead.
22 – “when summer of 69 comes on you pick a random person and you both know the exact choreography… an international perspective on it is… you go to a nightclub in kikoy trousers and start arguing with the bouncer to let you in…”
Hope you enjoyed reading these!
March 10th 2010
Here we go.
I thought I would add ‘Daily Tid Bits’ to share with everyone, as these are the little things in life that keep me laughing and smiling and I truly hope they do the same for you:
ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR DOGS 
My best friend here in Kenya is called Dawn, although most of the time she prefers to be called Goddess. Now my friend the Goddess is truly one of the most laid back funny humans I know, she has blue eyes, black hair and an English/Kenyan accent, very dry sense of humor, doesn’t raise her voice, loves her two grown children Zoe and Ryan although they accuse her jokingly of course of being the worst Mother ever, which we will get to later, her house lady Mena, her four dogs and most importantly Dawn is very diplomatic. I received a call late one night from her.
Tana, I pulled into my driveway tonight at dusk and when I got out of my car, I saw a cat at the end of my garden, I thought it was very brave to be there with all the dogs. Now mind you I didn’t have my glass on! The cat didnt move, I thought that was a bit strange as most of these cats scamper off when I drive it. I went in to the house and said, Hello to all the dogs, I put my things down and opened the back door for the Dogs to go out for the wee wee’s, but they all looked at me as if I were crazy! I told them to go out, and they just kept starring at me then the door then at me, I thought you lot have lost your minds, go out! they flatly refused. I put on my glasses and walked over to the door to walk out in hopes they would follow. When I looked out in the garden wondering if the cat was still there, that is when I saw the leopards tale in the air as it jumped over the wall!
I just started cracking up, you goof, I said. What domestic cat would you be able to see at the end of your garden in day light let alone dusk without your glasses, it must have been huge? The poor dogs, must have thought you were crazy. The Goddess and I had a huge laugh that night.
Haha mama, I do love this story!!! Lesson to be learned dont trust aunty dawn size judgement lol…love you xxxt
Let me repharse dont trust her size judgement when the glasses are off! xxxt
Ha ha!!! Oh dear Goddess..dont go anywhere without your glasses!!
It makes my sister’s alligator ‘Bob’ pale in comparison. We haven’t seen or heard from him for quite a while. Thanks for the daily laugh and story from Africa. Again, HUGE congratulations on your blog success, you beautiful woman.
or on for that matter Tiva. Never was any good with size, distance or shape – hence the cat at the bottom of the garden!!! Luv ya. xxxx
GODDESS your reading my BLOG, thank you so much honey! This will keep us laughing for a long time to come! xxx
Nice story but does make me wonder why you were driving, at night, without glasses on.
Good question Chris LOL… thank you for reading my story! Hope you come back to read more later.
Oh Tana, the thing when you were young that was soo refreshing is that you always laughed soo much and found humor in most all things…
That story is soo funny especially after the fact knowing there was no harm no foul/feline/canine…
..
Reminds me of the commercial here in the states of the woman who needs glasses lets a raccoon in thinking it was her cat..
Chris, had pushed glasses on to my head when opening the gate and didn’t bother to put them back on to drive the 10 metres to park the car. Don’t worry may be blind but not stupid – some would beg to differ lol ….
Goddess, Stupid is one thing you are not! Silly – completely! lol xxx
You know you’re Kenyan when you open the flower sack and there’s a Cobra in it! (happened at Gordon’s, years ago)
Too funny Mom, I remember! Love you! xxx
You know you’re Kenyan when directions involve more hand gestures and sound effects than actual words.
LOL.. great one Eddie! xxx
Gosh you’re all so brave! I that happened to me I’d be that shhok up I doubt I’d be able to speak let alone laugh!!
Great blog Tana xx
Tana,
Reading Zamba again and decided to do some research on the internet about your dad because of the mention of Africa USA. I grew up in the SF Bay Area and remember my dad taking me to Marine World in the 60′s. Then in jr. high the Africa USA was added. I was there as often as I could scrape together the money. I worked at Marriott’s Great America and we had Battle of the Parks at MWAUSA a few times. My husband’s friend worked at Castle Golf & Games and they would trade MW for free passes. I have alot of great memories of the park and was really sad that they had to move to Vallejo. The park was bigger but started to go downhill when they added the rides. I remember at the Redwood City park, Ron (I think that was the big cats guy) had these sparkly spandex outfits. Totally 70′s. But when they moved to Vallejo, it was the Khaki shorts and shirts and then no big cat show at all. We were very sad to see it go. He was so great with them. My husband worked for Pepsi and when the Vallejo park switched from Coke, he got to install the fountain machines. They wanted an ice machine backstage at the Sea Lions so he got to meet them. We have a picture of Gunther on his Pepsi truck. He had to drive it into the park to unload the ice machine. Pepsi had their company picnic there for quite a few years (until they switched back to Coke) so we got to go backstage and “play” with the Sea Lions and Wilbur & Rachel – the harbor seals. Sure wish I could have grown up with a lion like you did. I cannot imagine how incredible it must have been to know Zamba. Hope your family is well and they bless you with lots of grandkids.
Dear Laura, Thank you for taking the time to write me, and yes, although I was in the 2nd grade when my Dad joined MW and it became Marine World Africa U.S.A. He did that after our massive flood, then we went on to MGA, then Enchanted Village back in So Cal.
There were some fun times there for me, I had to move to the Bay area for 6 months from So. Cal while my Dad and Mom set everything up there, Beautiful area.
Zamba was my God Father, and he was the most amazing Lion. As I grew up and Zamba passed my Lion was Zamba Jr, who was the love of my life, he taught me so much about being a better person, funny as that sounds. Male lions were always one of my favorite of friends, Lioness were a bit trickier at times, but love them too LOL.. same in my human world at times LOL…
Thank you also for your blessings and I do hope do hear more from you in the future. xx